Reading of a famous writer, whose young life had been marked by his own father's suicide. How tragic! And yet, how real to so many. The father's eyes had turned inward. Inward to his own weakness, his own inadequacy: His humanity. It was too much for him, and he withdrew. Withdrew from the company of others he saw as beyond helping: Unwilling, unable, or else unfit, at any rate he withdrew- from human company, from his family, his son, from life.Is this unusual, or was it just that his method was more pronounced? What of fathers today who don't swallow a pistol, or kiss a Freightliner? How many children today grow up with Daddy in the picture, but realise as they mature that he was only posing? That Daddy was already dead to them, dressed in his burial suit as he vanished into a grave of career, ambition, or drink? Escaped from human company, from his family, his son, from life, pursuing a dream, inheriting a nightmare. The greatest tragedy is that he is never alone, has never escaped, but the nightmare he inherits becomes the mother's life, and a legacy for his children
Young men today have had less of a father's love than any generation in the US. The one exception, maybe, the "Reconstruction" South, when the fathers' generation had lost so many men in the battles. Today fewer "fathers" stay around, fewer families stay together, and more men have, themselves, come from families which taught them the lie that Daddy's two main jobs were to pay the bills and keep Mommy entertained.
The fathers, the leaders, of the homes are abandoning their roles even like a general who kills himself the day before the battle. The mothers have to leave their nurturing and relationship-building role to try and provide the direction, but as mothers their own focus is inward, to their children, to their hearts. Men who should be outward-focused for their families' sakes, to build a future for their children, and their children for the future, have deserted them for their own "fulfillment," not realising their fulfillment is in fulfilling their roles as daddies, and as loving husbands.
Is there a happy ending for this story? Is there an uplifting "hook" on the end? That is up to the reader, isn't it? Who will re-assess his role, or get alongside a young man, and help him find his direction, his manhood, in this castrated society? In this generation a man who is a godly husband and father will stand out as something unusual, much like a whole man in a company of eunuchs; and a young man, or lady, who has grown up with such a daddy will be able to shine gloriously in the fog of this age.
Young men today have had less of a father's love than any generation in the US. The one exception, maybe, the "Reconstruction" South, when the fathers' generation had lost so many men in the battles. Today fewer "fathers" stay around, fewer families stay together, and more men have, themselves, come from families which taught them the lie that Daddy's two main jobs were to pay the bills and keep Mommy entertained.
ReplyDeleteThe father is generally the family leader and sets much of the family morality.
A child without a father can be forced in ignorance to reason out aspects of life for self through a series of mistakes.
God can be a Father for a person and his guidance can make up for a lacking earthly father in many ways.
Men, regardless of the latest pc-speak, tend to be more outwardly-focused and achievement-driven. The moms have their hands full with weaving the sustaining relationships and teaching the children to care for others, developing their inner humanity, if you will (gross oversimplification, but this is a blog, not a textbook, for crying out loud!). At best today children grow up with Mama teaching them these basic things, but the other basic things, like how to find direction, are, like you said, left to be reasoned out through a series of mistakes. A whole generation re-inventing the wheel on how to even be adults! C.S. Lewis wrote very prophetically, though, in his "Men Without Chests" about the trend, even in the 1950's, away from things of the heart, and the current trend of depriving the children even of their mamas' presence in warehouse er, daycare facilities, paints an even scarier picture. Can you say, "Molock," boys and girls? If not, then put down the Wii and do something really exciting: Read H.G. Wells' The Time Machine!
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